Ladder
by anatagasuki
Summary: You don’t need to step up. I’ll step down. A NON RuHaru fic in Haruko’s eyes. Companion fic to Whisper.


Title: Ladder  
Author: anatagasuki  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Summary: You don't need to step up. I'll step down. A non RuHaru fic in Haruko's eyes. Companion fic to Whisper.  
Notes: _**NOT**_ a RuHaru, and people, don't flame me for the OC. Companion fic to Whisper. I recommend reading that afterwards if you're interested enough to try to understand this a little bit better. Crack. Song reference.  
Disclaimer: SD not mine.

It was the day.

Not a day. _The_ day. I, Haruko Akagi had waited long for an opportunity to confess to the man I had admired for five years now.

I knew from the day I caught glimpse of his raven black, just-slept hair, sharp blue eyes and pale skin that he was the one. I had followed him through the years, as he improved in basketball and crawled through high school.

This was my chance.

It was a cold autumn afternoon. I watched as leaves fell from the trees down to the cemented ground at the back of the administration building of Shohoku High. I waited.

The chances of Rukawa-kun coming were slim. I knew he really wasn't very fond of fan girls. But I hung on. Afterall, neither through junior high nor high school did he ever pursue a girl.

Was it too much to hope a little?

A sudden sound startled me. I looked up, and saw a familiar tall stature walking across the parking lot.

It was him.

I subconsciously took a deep breath. He came. That was good enough.

He faced me directly. With his eyes on mine I found it even harder to get the words out.

'_I could do this.'_ I thought. _'I have to, or I'll live to regret it.'_

"I like you, Rukawa-kun." I said without pausing. I wouldn't allow myself to even think of backing out. "Since I saw you in junior high, six years ago. All these years."

I waited. It was nerve-wracking, and I can't make myself move or breathe.

No answer. I closed my eyes. Was he considering it? Can't he speak because he liked me? Or was it because he hated me too much to even reply?

After a few seconds, it was too much. I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

But his eyes weren't on me. His wide, clear cerulean eyes were staring past me. I turned my head.

Beside the building. Rukawa-kun was gaping at a girl.

A girl staring at the both of them with exhausted, bleak and teary eyes. Said girl who ran away.

----------

Gifts. I wasn't much surprised that Rukawa-kun's hallway locker was so full of it that they poured down at the rookie after he opened them.

What surprised me was his reaction.

There was a sudden sparkle in his usually lifeless eyes. I could only interpret it as hope.

Then he proceeded to stuff all of the gifts back to his locker, when he would usually just leave them there or throw them all away.

After my unanswered confession, Rukawa-kun began behaving strangely.

He didn't sleep as much anymore. His head didn't go bobbing up and down while he was walking, running or attending his classes. Last time I peered into his classroom, he was staring blankly at the chalk board.

He didn't even practice and play basketball as enthusiastically and vigorously as he had before. Kaede Rukawa never missed lay-ups. Kaede Rukawa never missed free throws. A month ago, that is.

And the most astounding change of all: he ceased fighting back.

He had many enemies, namely rejected admirers' brothers, insulted gang members, boyfriends dumped by his fan girls and inevitably, Sakuragi-kun.

But when the red head grabbed his collar at practice, Rukawa-kun didn't shake him away. When Sakuragi accused him of breaking my heart, he didn't make a snappy comment. When he growled at him and punched him, he didn't fight back.

Kaede Rukawa stood there, motionless and speechless.

However, what struck most the whole Shohoku basketball team and all the regular spectators in the gym was the way Rukawa-kun looked at him.

Kaede Rukawa stared at Sakuragi-kun with nonchalant, empty eyes.

----------

I could not understand why.

There were so many questions in my head as I watched my crush sort through all the gifts sprawled on the smooth floor of his almost empty classroom.

I could tell that he wasn't himself. If he was, there wouldn't be an anticipating, almost desperate glimmer in his eyes as he racked through the normally meaningless presents. And he would in no time catch me gawking at him through the partially opened door.

Under the moonlight, I thought he looked ravishingly handsome. His pale skin was alabaster. His hair was as messy and tempting as ever, and his lithe muscles showed through his red basketball uniform.

I never got the answer to my ultimate question: what were Rukawa-kun's feelings for her?

After the girl ran away, he immediately went after her. I was astonished and I didn't try to stop him.

I could only guess who the woman was. And why Rukawa-kun ran after her.

But I can't afford to just guess. I wanted to know.

As Rukawa struggled to open a thin, square gift in a silver gift wrapper, I saw pure relief in him. Like a mother who's told her son will live through an illness, like a groom watching his bride appear at the church doors after being two hours late. It was almost painful.

It was a clear CD case. Hurriedly, he popped it in a player and jammed headphones in his ears.

For six years, I liked Rukawa. I _needed_ to know the answers. And that was probably why I went to follow him, out in the bitter, winter night.

----------

Once more, the girl failed to impress me.

She had brown hair which reached just below her shoulders. Same shade of russet eyes, which was too small for her forehead. She stood an inch shorter than me. And maybe weighed a lot more than I did.

As the woman stood at the door, she looked nothing special.

"I'm just tired. I can't go on like this."

"You don't need to step up. I'll step down."

But when Kaede Rukawa proceeded to step closer to her, when he looked straight at her, when he kissed her, I suddenly saw something I didn't recognize before.

In Rukawa-kun's eyes, the unknown woman wasn't the girl I thought she was.

From the day I caught glimpse of him staring at her chocolate brown, dry hair, squinty brown eyes and stocky frame, I should've known that she was the one. For him.

I had followed Kaede Rukawa through the years, as he improved in basketball and crawled through high school. As he slept during lunch breaks and played in all-star matches. As he broke hearts. And as he got his own broken.

I should have known what his face meant, that day under the falling, auburn leaves.

----------

The soft music was thrumming in my ears. The soothing voice was in my head.

_  
But if you keep real close_

_  
Yeah, you stay real close_

_  
I will reach you_

_  
I'm down to a whisper_

_  
In a daydream on a hill_

_  
Shut down to a whisper_

_  
Can you hear me?_

_  
Can you hear me still?_

----------

It was Sakuragi-kun.

He was there, standing at the door of my house the next chilly morning.

"Haruko-san." He stammered. "How are you doing?"

Maybe, just maybe, it was the start of something new.


End file.
